curmudgeon girl and her fantastical electronics

I have, at various times, imagined some useful electronic devices:

1.The one that, when pointed at some jerk's boombox on the subway, really does cause the boombox to boom, exploding all over the jerk and then settling into plastic fragments of silence after a gentle rain of applause from the other passengers.

2.The one that, when pointed at some idiot driver on his/her cell phone, would terminate the call. (The deluxe model would render the cell phone permanently unusable.)

3.The one that, when pointed at some slacker student's cell phone while they were secretly texting in class, would cause the phone to terminate the texting and then play a silly song like the Chicken Dance. There would be no way for them to silence it, and I would make them stand up in front of the entire class and do the dance.

See? Electronics COULD be our friends! Bwah-hah-hah!!!!