rhymes with cheepy's

B and I have been talking about buying a new bed for years, due to the interesting and ever-more-prominent topography of our not-so-old mattress. On New Year's Day, we went to the establishment mentioned in the title of this post, and the amount of cliches-made-reality was both astounding and sort of hilarious. (Well, it WOULD have been hilarious if B hadn't had to spend, like 20 hours on the phone getting back the ripoffs into our bank account.)

First off - the salesman. Not only was he wearing a wrinkled, stained white shirt and no tie, with a snowstorm of dandruff covering the shoulders of his cheap jacket, he proceeded with an amazing set of lies:

1.He used to work for the competitor (rhymes with Nob's) due to a family connection, and their comparable products (we purchased a memory-foam mattress with a 20-year guarantee) are complete shit and will barely last a year. Hm, wonder what he told customers at Nob's, when he worked there, about Cheepy's products? I surmised that he used to be married into the Nob family, and after the divorce, they fired his sorry ass.

2.After some dickering about the price, he agreed to match the Nob's price, but then, oh wait, the computer wouldn't "let" him enter that price, so he "had to" charge us $30 more, so he "threw in" a mattress pad, retail value $100, so we actually "saved" $100. When Brian pointed out that the "savings" was actually net $70, he seemed really confused. But wait, it gets even better: the next day we saw the Cheepy's ad for this mattress that promised a) FREE mattress pad; and b) beating any competitor's price by 20%.

3. He told us that Cheepy's charged $15 for taking away the old stuff. This turned out to be $15 PER PIECE and since we had a king bed with the split box springs, that was actually $45.

It took some time on the phone, as aforementioned, but the regional and corporate guys ultimately threw this guy under the bus ("oh, he's not one of our regular salesmen") and made good on the $30 and the mattress pad and the 20%. And then Brian finished off the poor SOB by calling back the online help dude at Cheepy's (who ALSO works on commission) and giving him the purchase info so that he could claim his 50%.

Moral of the story: don't take any shit from Cheepy's. You might as well walk out during the sale writeup if they are doing it wrong. It'll save considerable time post-sale, and you'll ultimately (I think) get all you're entitled to. (Or you can just go to Nob's.)

The bed is deeply, deeply comfortable. No more lower back pain (well, except after the shoveling. But that is a whine for a different day).